INTERVIEW WITH BECKY GILMORE

By Rita Prochazka and Deborah Malone

Questions by Rita:

Becky, would you share some of your testimony with our readers?

I grew up in a Christian home. Although, I had wonderful Christian parents, legalism was a common theme. That led to me feeling like a failure and not feeling like I could ever live up to God’s standards.

When I was thirteen, I was raped by a boy from church whom I had a crush on. My innocence was immediately gone, and hopelessness and worthlessness began to weave its way into my mind. I spent many years being abused sexually, physically and mentally, thinking I didn’t deserve a good man in my life, stuck at thirteen years of age emotionally, and self-sabotaging when things started to go well.

My first son was born when I was seventeen, still a child myself. I married and had my second son. But that marriage lasted a very short time. I ended up in an unspeakably horrible ten-year relationship with a man who abused me mentally, physically, and sexually. He was verbally and physically abusive to my sons and I was powerless to stand up for them. I was terrified of this man and didn’t feel like I could leave. I lived in an eternal pit of despair, pain and fear, and I didn’t expect to survive.

My father took me to lunch one day (a very rare occasion for me to get away from my abuser). He told me I could always come home. I left the relationship that day in my mind, waited for a chance to leave, and never looked back.

Things got worse two years later when my son Ryan was murdered. He was a good boy who got involved with a bad crowd. Within one month, he was dead, having been tortured for hours, put into the trunk of his car and set on fire. My family and I spent the next year of our lives in a courtroom, watching six people go to prison for his murder. There are no words to explain what that does to a family and to a mother. I am sure I suffered from PTSD for many years. I spend the next twelve years in a pit of shame, blaming myself for not being a good mother, and causing him to make bad decisions.

I met my husband and married him in 2009, and our marriage was a mess. We got married for all the wrong reasons and we were both headed for destruction.

BUT GOD…

My husband left me in 2016 at the end of the year. This is the best thing he has ever done for me or for our marriage. I was forced to take a good look at my life and get some mental help. I started attending Celebrate Recovery to deal with the trauma of childhood, the abuse during my later years and finally the absolute earth-shattering death of my son.

I re-dedicated my life to God in 2017 and haven’t looked back. Since then, my marriage has been restored, and my husband has given his life to the Lord. I have the honor of facilitating and being a part of a beautiful ministry, “Hope for the Broken,” with two other very special Godly women. I am passionate about “seeing” and “loving” women who are sometimes ignored, rejected, judged or do not fit in easily with others.

I have grown in my relationship with God in this ministry. It has challenged me and forced me to look at myself and make changes I need to make in my own walk with God, and for that I am eternally grateful.

Becky, Deborah here, what a powerful testimony you have and what an encourager you must be to many women who have gone through brokenness. May God continue to bless your ministry!

In your walk with God in this season of your life, what have you learned?

I have learned I need to give EVERYTHING to God. I need to submit every single thing to him and TRUST Him, even when I don’t see what His plan is. I have also learned that I am worthy. He loves me just the way I am, with my quirky personality, and although I don’t feel qualified for what He has led me to do, He is the one who called me, and He is the one who is qualifying me. I am learning how to love people correctly, how to love myself correctly, how to set boundaries when I need to, and to forgive people that hurt me or my family, even when they don’t see what they are doing.

How have you prepared/been prepared for your ministry?

I believe in accountability. I am involved in a ladies Bible study every other Monday, and we share our lives and pray for one another. I am also a part of a small group “Banded Together” on Thursdays. This group keeps me accountable for praying and reading my Bible daily, sharing where I fail and where I succeed. This group is VERY instrumental in my growth with God.

Questions by Deborah:

What would your advice be to other “seasoned” women on ways to stay active in ministry?

Don’t ever feel like you have nothing to offer. Those of us who have more experience can be used by God in so many ways. My mother is 82. We use her home to meet for our Bible studies weekly. It is a safe place, and we don’t have to be worried about being interrupted. I have experienced the joy of participating in leading one of our Monday ladies to the Lord in my mother’s living room. She wasn’t even there. We made a plaque that states, “The Clubhouse. Grow through what you go through.”

Be willing! Don’t think you are too old to learn or to help. The younger generation is looking to us. We are now the matriarchs, and we have a lifetime of Godly wisdom and life experiences to offer.

Becky, could you tell us a little about your ministry?

Our ministry is called, “Hope for the Broken, Providing Direction with Affection.” We utilize Celebrate Recovery materials. Some people think CR is for alcohol and drug addicts only, which is very far from correct. We celebrate recovery from hurts, hangups and habits. We want to heal from our past so we can have healthy futures. Our group started out with one girl, and just a couple of weeks ago, we had thirteen people! It is growing very fast. We have a Facebook Messenger group, and it is constantly dinging and popping up with messages of help needed, encouragement, funny moments and a LOT of love. We are blessed to say our group is sacred and safe.

What challenges have you had to overcome in this time of your “seasoned” ministry?

I have a full-time career and have been promoted into a leadership position. I am also involved with two other Bible studies so that I can also grow. These Bible studies, along with Wednesday ministry, take up a lot of my time. My husband and I have three boys with families (a total of 11 grandchildren).

I don’t have a lot of time left for myself, but just when I feel like I need rest, God always provides it. He provides rest and strength. And balance. I know that if I ever feel unbalanced or unhappy, I need to look to God for direction. He provides everything we need. All we have to do is ask!

My life verse is: Genesis 50:20 – “As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good. He brought me to this position so that I could save the lives of many people.”

God never wastes a hurt! I ADORE Him so very much!